We’re thrilled to launch a project that has been germinating for more than a couple of years! In 2012, we’ll publish four Tending Your Inner Garden books—one for each season of the year—and we invite you and women everywhere to submit stories, essays and poems for possible publication.

In almost ten years of Tending Your Inner Garden, Diane and I have heard countless women’s stories through our workshops, classes and retreats. But now it’s time for a larger circle of women who believe in the power of Spirit, nature and women’s wisdom to hear and learn from one another. That’s our vision for these books.

Why are we doing four books rather than one? The Tending Your Inner Garden program uses the seasons as a metaphor for change and transition. We help women focus not on the external season (in other words, whether it’s raining or snowing outside), but on the season inside you.

• Are you feeling depleted and in need of solitude? You probably are in winter and need to give yourself the gift of rest and inner reflection for a while.

• Is your mind racing with new possibilities? You may be in spring, ready internally to plant the seeds of new projects or life changes.

• Are you feeling overwhelmed by activities and expansion in your life? You’re probably in summer, a time when the abundance of your life may need a little weeding.

• Or are you getting rid of clutter or grieving a loss? You may be experiencing the “letting go” of fall, when sadness or melancholy signals the end of something important in your life…and the heartbeat of a new beginning.

We often talk about the fact that you can be in several seasons at once. For instance, you may be in summer in your family life if you’re trying to keep up with the demands of growing children and an active household. At the same time, your career might be in fall if you’re feeling the pull of a new career direction or an inner longing to express a different part of yourself in your work.

Through the four seasonal books, our aim is to collect stories about each of these inner seasons so that, when they’re done, you can pick up a book that supports you exactly where you are. We envision you thinking, “You know, I’m excited about the new direction my life is going. Where can I read stories from women who have experienced this same sense of urgency and new beginnings?” And voila, the spring Tending Your Inner Garden book will speak to you. Or maybe you’ll think, “I’m grateful for so many blessings in my life, but I have a sadness I can’t name.” And you’ll pick up the fall book and be wrapped in the supportive stories of women who have felt the same thing.

Clearly, the impact of these stories will be far-reaching…and it all starts with you. We encourage you to submit as many stories, poems and essays as you like for the books, based on the seasonal themes. If you’re asking yourself, “Can I really do this? Can I really have a voice?” our answer is, “Yes, you can.” Let your inner wisdom guide you in choosing a story or stories to share, then set aside the critical editor that sits on your shoulder and write from the heart.

You’ll find all the details about submitting material here. And please spread the word. With your help, these books—like Tending Your Inner Garden itself—will speak from the universal heart of feminine wisdom.

 

 

 

 

The holidays can test your ability to stay true to yourself, especially around family and old friends who may have perceptions of you that are no longer true—or never accurately reflected who you are at your core. Remember that everyone’s perception of you is colored by their own lens. The only person who really knows who you are and what you deeply value and desire is you.

When you listen to your inner guidance with the support of Spirit and nature, you strengthen your conviction to express the deepest and most authentic parts of yourself.

This week, give yourself the gift of …

• Discerning what you care about at a heartfelt level. Speak with others from a place of your values, not just your opinions. You’ll find it easier to connect honestly with others, and to respect yourself even if people close to you disapprove or disagree.

• Stepping into your own power. Before visiting with family or friends through the holidays, take a few minutes in solitude to offer thanks to yourself and those in your life who have helped you become who you are today. Visualize a ball of light in your abdomen and see it expanding and spreading throughout your body. Know that this light—the essence of who you are—is stronger than any external expectations.

• Listening to your inner voice even when you’re in conversation with others. If you start to say something that doesn’t reflect who you are, pay attention to the voice within and let it guide you. Know that your honest expression is your gift to the world.

• Releasing any expectations. Take a few minutes to journal about the expectations you hold for yourself and the holidays. Ask yourself, “What’s true? What matters? What parts of these expectations can I let go of?”

 

 

 

This week, we encourage you to start off the holiday season by giving to yourself what you give to others: gratitude. In countless and immeasurable ways, your inner light makes a difference in this world. And your simple acts of courage and kindness are unique expressions of your deepest self.

Acts of courage can look a lot of different ways. For instance, when challenged to do something outside her comfort zone, Nancy decided to call her estranged sister, who lives in another state. The two hadn’t spoken for several months, so Nancy set herself up for success.

With an intention to limit the phone call to about 15 minutes, she called in the middle of the day, when she could gracefully use work as an excuse to end the conversation. Also, she was realistic in her expectations; her desire was to establish a connection, not to completely heal the relationship.

The phone call went reasonably well, and Nancy ended the conversation not only a step closer to her sister, but aware that she can do more than she might have thought before. And she also had another big reason to thank herself…for expressing herself with love.

This week, take a few minutes each day to think of the ways you’ve been courageous enough to be yourself…and to consider new ways of extending yourself to others. It will make the holiday extra meaningful as you put yourself in the equation of gratitude.

 

A 96-acre fresh water lake shimmers just two minutes from my home. Surrounded by a 1.9 mile walking path that takes you over a bridge and through groves of cottonwood and assorted trees, the lake attracts a microcosm of the greater Des Moines area. Mothers and fathers strolling with kids or guiding them as they wobble on new bikes. Runners with sleek bodies. Families speaking one of the more than 100 languages found in the city. Dogs of all sizes walking their owners.

This year is the tenth anniversary of the Gray’s Lake Park. In 2001 the lake was enlarged, trails were constructed and a gorgeous bridge that spans one end and lights up at night was built. A community of people populate it, treasuring it as an oasis in the heart of the city.

Majestic cottonwoods frame the lake. Here’s the view at 2 p.m. today.

Life conspires to keep me from reflecting more deeply on who I am and what I have to offer to the world, or so it seems. Whether it’s completing forms for health care expense reimbursement, taking my car in for service or dealing with a failed Internet connection, I find my days slipping away from me. Kierkegaard called it “tranquilization by the trivial.” I become numb to my own inner aliveness.

Yet these daily life tasks are necessary and can be fulfilling. I try praying. During my morning ritual of showering and brushing my teeth, I imagine sending cleansing energy to all the people in the world who subsist in tents, shacks and homeless shelters. I try mindfulness. In folding the laundry I notice the fresh smell, soft textures and colors of the fabrics. I try gratitude. In reflection, I acknowledge how much my life has been gifted with health insurance, transportation, and a nice place to live.

All of this helps. Approaching humble tasks with a peaceful heart changes the energy of my immediate surroundings and affects positively my relationships with others. Yet I feel there’s more–more to discover about how I uniquely can serve a greater purpose. Is it writing? Teaching? Spiritual companioning?

If you’re on this same journey, I’d love to hear from you. How do you instill meaning into daily life? How do you continue your search for your true self and your role in the world?

Join us on this blog and share with others.

Diane

On a recent visit, my daughter-in-law Saraswati followed a long-standing Hindu tradition of welcoming the day by recognizing the contribution of the Sun. She filled a pitcher with water and added the spice tumeric. Once outdoors, she poured the water on the lawn and recited a ritual verse praising the light and warmth the Sun provides.

She reminded me of the importance of setting a tone for each day. Will I look around me in gratitude and consider how all of nature and its inhabitants work together for my well-being? Or will I be too consumed with the pressures of my to-do list to pause and say “thank you”?

Many spiritual traditions laud the merits of pausing during the day and
becoming centered once again. A friend of mine uses doorways to remind her of this practice. Every time she passes through one, she says a small prayer. I rely upon deep breathing to bring me back to the present moment and all its riches.

Such daily rituals can help us let go of the pressures and stresses of life as we become more mindful of our capacity to simply be. For this moment, I inhale concern about the future and exhale appreciation for having everything I need right now to be at peace.

Do you have a spiritual practice that keeps you grounded and grateful?

I don’t often write poetry, but a couple of years ago, a poem so needed to be born that it wriggled right out of me and onto my computer. I came across it recently and realized that it says exactly what I want to say to myself and to you about letting go of what we no longer need: our fear. So, here it is, with hopes it will speak to the voice in you that is ready to let go of everything you’re not. Like the upcoming fall colors, that true self is just waiting to burst forth in all its glory.

You have always been who you are
Even when you thought you were hiding from the world.
Even when you thought you were invisible,
Covered up your light,
Made funny faces,
Pretended to be dumb and mute,
Ran like you were headed for the circus,
Lied and cried and stomped your feet
Like a two-year-old,
You have always been the eternal You.

So the question is this:
Do you want to keep hiding,
Pretending,
Turning your head and going to the movies?
Or do you want to put the weapons down,
Surrender,
Gather up the world in your shawl with
Welcomes and coos of acceptance?

It is so easy to be you.
It is the easiest thing you could do.
Just stop fighting,
Stop resisting,
Stop delaying and doing card tricks, and
Begin by saying, “I am.”

—Debra Landwehr Engle
12-8-09

 

Letting go of someone or something requires grieving, accepting that life will not be the same. Yet in the letting go, a gift is offered as well.

The gift may be in the way someone you loved accepted and modeled death. The gift may be in the end of pain or in the space created for healing. The gift may be in the way you open up to new possibilities or act upon accumulated wisdom.

Often we acknowledge loss only when it’s major and dramatic. Yet we experience loss daily in many small ways. After visiting my nieces and grand nephews at a family reunion in Texas, I got on a plane and flew home, knowing I wouldn’t see them for another year. Accompanying the sadness was gratitude for the love that flows through my family.

With State Fair time here, I anticipate the loss of summer with its carefree activities. The gift? Good memories of times spent with friends, leisurely mornings on the patio with coffee and the newspaper, and walks around the lake.

At a meeting this morning of my writing group, I held the new baby of one of the members. Little Elaine, three weeks old, nestled in my arms and made adorable squeaks, peeps and grumbles. In giving her back to her father, I felt my heart quiver. Never a mother myself, I experienced wistfulness. What is the gift? That’s something for me to reflect on.

As Deb and I continue this series of blogs on the experience of letting go, we’d love to hear from you about the losses–big and small–that have been part of your life!

Diane

 

 

 

 

Wall Street stock plunges. Rancorous politics. Famine in the Sudan. High unemployment. We can’t run away from our problems; they need our attention. But, personally, I need a break.

Of late, I’ve found myself unusually pessimistic–even about things that normally wouldn’t concern me. Free-floating anxiety. Mild paranoia. Over-thinking. What’s going on?

Thoughts do matter. If we allow life events, even painful ones, to lead to suffering, our brains are literally rewired. The good news is that we can reverse this pattern, not by suppressing the negative, but by internalizing the positive.

This is the message of “Buddha’s Brain: the practical neuroscience of happiness, love & wisdom” by Rick Hanson, Ph.D. Dr. Hanson describes brain function in detail while offering easy-to-follow steps for creating more happiness in your life.

1.”Turn positive facts into positive experiences.” If you see something beautiful, admirable or happy, stop to notice it. Bring your full awareness to it. Let it affect you.

2.  ”Savor the experience.” Stay with your experience for 5, 10, even 20 seconds. Focus on your emotions and body sensations. Pay attention to the rewarding aspects of this experience.

3.  ”Imagine or feel that the experience is entering deeply into your mind and body.” Relax and absorb the emotions, sensations and thoughts of the experience.

On my morning walk around Grey’s lake today, I resolved to follow Dr. Hanson’s suggestions. Lingering at trees I had admired but strolled by so many times, I recognized the species–cottonwoods. Towering trees with large canopies, they frame the lake dramatically. The bark is rough and stone grey. The leaves are triangular in shape.

Studying these trees took me back to childhood, when my sister Susie and I would sit on our front porch during thunderstorms and watch the cottonwoods across the street. Swaying and bending, they appeared capable of falling and landing at our feet–or even on our heads. We had no fear, though, simply love for these larger than life friends.

Taking in this experience today, I feel better already. I’m going to continue this practice–and in the meantime, turn off the TV, scan the newspaper more quickly, and ignore financial reports on my IRA.