When a Des Moines Sunday Register article appeared yesterday featuring the “Peace Tree,” a 513-year-old Sycamore now barely visible in Lake Red Rock, I was reminded of a similar story that shows how works of nature anchor us and preserve our stories.

When we moved to Carlisle, Iowa in 2003 to inhabit a 150-year old farmhouse on eight acres, one of our first duties was to learn the history of the place. Fortunately, the son of the original owner lived across the road with his wife. Bob and Ann Fleming, now both gone, generously shared details not only about the house, but also about the land itself, including one famous tree.

Originally, an orchard of fruit trees edged the north side of the house, the area where we planted a prairie. In the middle of the orchard was the “Meeting Elm,” the largest in the vicinity and the site of many gatherings of Scotch farmers. The meetings were usually serious in nature–matters affecting the livelihoods of these farmers and their families–but it was customary for someone to bring a keg of beer. Bob Fleming told me that periodically fights broke out. In one particularly raucous gathering, one man bit off the ear of another. The famous elm died around 1900.

Later, in talking with Bob about how fascinating I found all that he and Ann had shared with us, I mentioned that my favorite story was the one about the Meeting Elm. At that, he teared up and began to cry.

“You stop that right now!” he scolded himself.

Was he moved by the recollection of the tree? The fact that now others were carrying on its story? I don’t know but it demonstrated how connected we are with the nature that surrounds us.

As we become more mobile as a society and as land is cleared for development, we’ll have fewer opportunities to develop long-term relationships with specific trees, lakes, hillsides, rocks, prairies. That saddens me–and makes me want to look around at my immediate surroundings with greater appreciation.

Is there a tree in your yard, neighborhood, or community you want to relate to and remember?  Or one you already have a relationship with?  Share your story with us.

Diane

Imagine walking into a room with a circle of handmade African drums, lit candles and fresh mountain air. You take a seat with a drum, and within minutes, you and the other participants of the Montana Tending Your Inner Garden retreat fill the space with powerful and intricate rhythms that rise and fall like the water on the shores of Flathead Lake. And that’s just PART of one evening!

That’s what’s in store during our Montana retreat September 8-14, where educator and recording artist Matthew Marsolek of Drum Brothers will lead us in a soul-stirring evening of drumming.

His wife, dance instructor Tracy Topp, will lead us in African dance (no experience necessary!). A dancer since she was three, Tracy has training in many dance styles, including modern, jazz, Middle Eastern and West African.

What else lies in store for you on the retreat?

A day in Glacier National Park.

We’ll visit via Going to the Sun Road, a spectacular drive into the park with majestic mountain vistas, opportunities to hike and a stop at the Visitor’s Center at Logan Pass for QiGong to fill us with the energy of the trees, earth and sky.

Afternoon free time for creative projects, shopping at the galleries and boutiques of nearby Bigfork, and opportunities to canoe, kayak or relax on your cabin porch, where you can read and admire the peace and beauty of Flathead Lake.

And, of course, mornings filled with Tending Your Inner Garden’s experiential exercises, discussion and interaction with nature as we meet as a group.

Hurry! Our early registration discount ends May 1!

Check out all the details and register online today. We’d love to spend a week in Big Sky Country with you!

As we get closer to spring, you may be thinking about cleaning house: opening up the windows, clearing out your closet, sprucing up your place a little. All those external signs of a new season mark the same transition plants go through. Dormant and lying in the dark for the winter, they suddenly want to reach out for as much sunshine, fresh air and growth as possible.

So, while you’re cleaning house this spring, take some time to tend your inner garden, too. When you’re walking, journaling, reflecting—or while you’re cleaning up the yard and clearing out last season’s clothes—ask yourself questions like these:

• Are there behaviors or thought patterns that are hampering growth in my life?
• What conditions will best allow for my own personal growth?
• How can I devote more time and energy to things that I love and value?
• What support do I need from family, friends and my community as I pursue goals and dreams?
• What possibilities in my life excite me the most during the quickening of spring?

We’d love to hear your thoughts!

Submit your stories for possible publication in our Summer and Fall Tending Your Inner Garden books to be released yet in 2012.

Over the past ten years of Tending Your Inner Garden workshops, dinners and retreats, we’ve heard hundreds of women’s stories. Some have been stories of healing both body and soul. Others have been touching, inspiring, poignant, heartbreaking, and laugh-out-loud funny.

They all prove one thing: As women, we all have stories that matter. And when we share them with one another, we expand and deepen a sacred circle of women and support one another on the spiritual path.

That’s why we’re publishing four Tending Your Inner Garden books this year, and we want your voice to be part of them.

We’re inviting you and every woman you know to submit a story, poem, essay or other creation for either or both the Summer and Fall Tending Your Inner Garden seasonal books. Each book reflects the overall theme of Tending Your Inner Garden: Helping women listen to and trust their inner guidance as they connect with Spirit and the Earth.

This is the best way we know to honor the tenth anniversary of Tending Your Inner Garden. And it’s also the most lasting and impactful way we can think of to celebrate women, Spirit and nature. We’ve spelled out all the details below, and we encourage you to take part.

We’ve published two books so far: Winter: Women’s Stories, Poems and Inspiration for the Season of Rest and Renewal and Spring: Women’s Inspiration for the Season of Hope and New Beginnings.

Now, we’re looking for women and girls who want to share their life experience and insights that reflect the seasons of Summer and Fall. Maybe you’ve faced a challenge and have grown as a result, or maybe you found a new perspective on a relationship. In Summer, have you faced storms and grown in self-knowledge and awareness? Have you savored beauty and abundance in your life? In Fall, have you harvested life wisdom? Learned how to let go? Experienced gratitude? Here are additional details on the books:

Q. How will the books be published?

A. Each book will be published to e-readers (Kindle, Nook, etc.), and we’ll do a limited run of print copies as well. If we choose your submission, you’ll receive five print copies of each book you’re in, plus a 25% discount on any additional print copies. Each book will have a brief bio of each woman whose submissions are included.

Q. How will you select the material you publish?

A. We want writing that’s honest and heartfelt, whether it’s a poem, a humorous story or a poignant essay. We’ll also select material that provides a wide spectrum of inspiration, ideas and points of view within each book.

Q. I don’t consider myself a writer and have never been published. Can I still submit work?

A. Absolutely. We’re looking for fresh, honest, compelling material. Our only requirement is that you write from the heart.

Q. Will all work be included?

A. We can’t guarantee that your entries will be included. But the more you submit, the greater your chance of being published in at least one of the books.

Please share this information with any female who may be interested, of any age anywhere on the planet. We hope to include writing representing all ages, walks of life, religions and parts of the world.

Submission guidelines:

Please follow the submission instructions carefully. Be sure to keep a copy of everything you submit.

• Submissions will be accepted via email only. Send them to deb@innergardener.com.

• Please send each submission separately. In the subject line of the email and the name of the Word document, include the season of the book for which the submission is intended.  For example: Story for Summer book.

• Submissions must be in Word documents.

• Each submission should be no more than 600 words.

• With your submission, include your name the way you’d like it listed if it’s published.

• We’ll contact you if your submission has been accepted.

• Please note the deadlines for submission, below.

Submission deadlines

Submissions for the books are due according to the following schedule:

• Summer book: Now closed
  
• Fall book: June 1, 2013
  

If you have questions, please contact us.

• Send your submissions to: deb@innergardener.com

Thank you for being part of this project celebrating and unifying the voices of women everywhere. We look forward to hearing from you!

The new Tending Your Inner Garden book, Spring: Inspiration for the Season of  Hope and New Beginnings, releases Thursday, Sept. 27. We’re delighted to introduce this second in our series of four seasonal books, all made possible thanks to the submissions of essays and poems from around the country and other parts of the world.

This is a book to keep by your bedside or your favorite chair–and to pick up and savor whenever you feel the stirrings of new possibilities in your life.

It includes stories about finding your own space, transforming your life, moving into new stages of motherhood, accepting unexpected transitions, growing on a soul level and so much more. And it provides just the right hope and inspiration when you’re nurturing new beginnings in your life.

Transformational author and change agent Margaret Wheatley offers this endorsement of the book:

“Each offering invites you into the mind and heart of the writer, promising a rich, reflective experience that both stays with you and moves you forward.”

In the central Iowa area? Join us for a book-signing Thursday, Sept. 27 at Beaverdale Books from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. Or pre-order your copy now at a special price: www.tendingyourinnergarden.com/bookstore/

My husband and I differ in how we communicate. I process thoughts out loud. He mulls over things internally and takes him time to speak. It’s taken me a long time to both notice this rhythm and adjust my conversational style accordingly. How have I changed? I’ve learned to be silent and wait, knowing that he will most likely respond to my comment in a thoughtful way when he’s ready.

So I’m not the person I was, exactly. Interaction with another person I care about has helped me learn about myself and grow in flexibility and patience.

Our theme for this month is “Who am I becoming?” The question assumes that our “self” is not a fixed entity that never evolves or changes. At a soul level, that is the case. We’re born with a spark of divine essence that we spend a lifetime attempting to discover and bring to the world. The self, on the other hand, is our expression of that divine essence as we understand it. It’s malleable, responding to life circumstances, desires, relationships, life stages. Who we’re becoming depends on how observant we are of that self and how intentional we are in shaping our thoughts and behavior in an authentic and creative way.

From time to time, it’s useful to ask, “Who am I becoming?” To start you on your reflection, here are questions you could journal or draw a response to or discuss with a friend. The point is not be judgmental about yourself, but to play the role of the witness, noticing changes that provide useful information to you.

• When do you feel out of sync with your surroundings or circumstances? Is this a new feeling or something you’ve experienced for some time? What do you observe about yourself, based on your discomfort or dis-ease?
• How has your response to a family member or friend changed over the past year? What has prompted this change? Has a new insight about yourself emerged?
• Has your taste–for food, fashion, lifestyle, leisure–evolved? Are you giving away clothes that no longer suit you? Shifting to a new hobby or volunteer commitment? Step back. What does this say about you?
• Reflect on any feedback you’ve received from others who know you well. Or ask them for feedback. What do they notice about you that has changed?
• How do you feel more in sync–or out of sync–with who you know yourself to be? What values are you expressing or not expressing? What do these values represent?
• How are you like the child you recall being? What has not changed about you after many years?

Stay tuned for more thoughts on this topic. Share with us what you’re learning about yourself.

What is your “go-to” quality that has seen you through numerous life storms? That characteristic trait of yours that shines through, even in the most challenging of times?

This week Inner Gardeners reflected on this question over a potluck dinner and came up with words like “creativity,” “humor,” “determination,” and “confidence.” Some expressed surprise that, not until being asked this question, did they give themselves credit for the strengths that come into play in their lives again and again.

Do you remember life storms for the difficulties they caused? Or do you recognize how you’ve grown because of them? You are who you are today because of what you’ve faced and what you’ve learned as a result.

During this season of summer, marked by unexpected and sometimes unwelcome events, as well as the beauty and bounty of all that is growing, reflect on your lifetime of stormy weather. Use these questions as prompts for journaling:

• What comes to mind when you think of the life storms you have faced? Pick two, three or more and briefly describe them.
• What images do you recall as you witness yourself enduring the storm and eventually moving beyond it?
• If you were describing yourself in third person, what words would you use to capture the strengths that allowed you to not only survive the storm, but also grow because of it?
• How do those words feel when you apply them to yourself?
• Pick one or two that best fits who you were then and who you continue to be.
• Claim these attributes by posting the word or words in a place you will see every day.

Know that you can trust your resilient self, regardless of what may be happening around you.

One year after her husband’s death, Polly Flug still flies the American flag on holidays. “Ron was a veteran of the Vietnam war, and I think of him a lot,” Polly says.

Picturing him in concrete ways is one way Polly has allowed herself to grieve. “I try to remember how much joy and happiness we had and be grateful for the time we had together,” Polly says, “but I was (am) very sad. Nearly every day of this year of firsts I have had tears.”

Polly describes with gratitude all the ways people have helped her. “Our couple friends still include me, although I’m not part of a couple anymore. Friends prayed for me, sent me cards throughout the year of firsts, called me and said encouraging things to me on Facebook.

“Although I try not to burden others with my grief, my family and friends always listen and care for me,” she says. “My grown children have been wonderful, although they’re mourning the loss of their dad. When I have moments with tears or sadness, people don’t try to talk me out of my grief, they just listen.”

Yet Polly acknowledges that it’s not easy to experience loss fully in today’s world. “When corporate America allows five days’ bereavement leave for the loss of a spouse, child or parent, that means business as usual after five days. Unfortunately for the person who is grieving, it will never be business as usual, at least not in the same way,” she says.

What counsel does she have for people in similar situations? “A person who has suffered a loss MUST allow himself/herself to grieve, even if he/she must ‘carry on’ at work. The grieving person should take the time to think about the loss, to remember the good times, and never, ever be ashamed or apologize for tears.”

As you journal this week, consider how Polly’s story resonates with you. Do you have losses you have not fully allowed yourself to grieve? Are there ways to recall and celebrate the good times associated with the person or life you lost? How can you be a compassionate listener for others experiencing loss?

If a life storm, however dramatic or subtle, has left you feeling sad, frightened, or lonely, ask yourself: “Have I given myself time to grieve?”

Too often, the answer is “no” or “I’m not sure.” We don’t know how to grieve or express the loss we’re feeling.

In traditional societies, rituals provided a community setting for grieving. People wailed, shaved their heads, wore special dress or engaged in ritual dance. In our society, expressions of grief may produce awkward silences or well-meaning comments like “You look great!” “You’re sure handling this well.” “Your loved one is so lucky to have you for support.”

Without support, the person who has experienced the loss attempts to “get on with life,” rather than mourn the person or the life they’ve known. Suppressed grief can lead to illness, depression and isolation.

Grief is a natural response to loss. “It’s the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away,” according to Helpguide.org, an online resource for people facing health challenges. “The more significant the loss, the more intense the grief.”

Although experts have identified predictable stages of grief, more recently they have acknowledged that each person grieves differently. How you grieve depends on your personality, life experience, and the nature of the loss.

Know that there is no right or wrong way to express your loss or no timetable for this process of grieving to unfold. If you need assistance, seek professional help, join a support group, find consolation in your faith, and/or turn to friends and family members.

Journal with these questions, knowing it’s necessary to fully experience your loss before healing can begin:

• What is the pain I feel?
• What have I lost?
• How can I express my pain through words, images, or movement?
• Who or what will allow me to express this loss freely and without judgment?
• How can I take care of my health during this time?
• What is likely to trigger feelings of grief, realizing this is natural?

If you want to help someone who has experienced a recent loss, know that your presence and a simple expression like “I want you to know that I care” can be reassuring. A willingness to listen compassionately and offers of concrete assistance like grocery shopping or childcare also provide meaningful support.

Find inspiring grief resources, including photography, books, e-books, DVD’s, at willowgreen.com.

Next topic: One woman’s experience with grief one year after her husband’s death.

You may wish that this moment and this time in your life could last forever. You may feel blessed with meaningful work in the world, loving relationships and a place that is truly home.

Or you may be longing for a new life. Maybe you’re searching for a sense of purpose, a caring community and a place that feels safe and nurturing.

Or maybe you’re somewhere in between.

Regardless, your life will change.

This reality allows you to keep growing and learning. When you welcome change—even the difficult parts—you’re invited to go deeper inside, delving into who you truly are and the gift you are to the world.

Writer P. Susan Buchanan, who contributed the poem below to our Winter book, knows that as well as anyone. Due to an auto accident at age 16, she now lives as a quadriplegic. That accident and a difficult childhood led her on a search for wholeness and well-being. She now says, “Life has been very good to me.”

We featured Susan in our latest Tending Your Garden newsletter. Her poem “Deep Still” from Winter recalls the moment when her life changed dramatically. What have been your defining moments? What have they taught you? In what ways can you say, “Life has been very good to me”?

Deep Still

By P. Susan Buchanan

White-knuckled steering wheel
cold seeping through his hands.
Curses blaze through an icy night
along an uncleared road
over slush-frozen ruts.
Bare patches gleam oily black
in headlights too weak to penetrate the deep night.
Car whips sideways lunging
a wild horse on stiff reins, bucks, frightened.
Hold breath hard, ice seeps along my veins hold tight
hold tight
hold.
Crazy hill in a long plunge
we slide out of control.
Gather speed, car slams against deep ruts skitters across black ice.
One last wrench then all is lost all is lost all.

Fly from the road, connect with a telephone pole, flip end over end.
My nerve ends roar back at me no more no more no.

The profundity of stillness settles heavy on my shoulders. Everything is deep still.
Stillness so complete it is everything.
Stillness echoes through that first icy night.

Erie quiet.
Am I alone?
Yes, alone in a new world without a map.
I will be the cartographer of a new landscape. I am me, still.
I will chart a new way back.